The FAWNSKIN FLYER Volume 1 Issue 2 July 8, 2005

I’ve been having problems with the last two PDF uploads so here is the July 8, 2005 Issue of the Fawskin Flyer! The new issue is out–get it at the Fawnskin Market for a quarter!

Fawnskin Flyer
Okay, the first issue of the Fawnskin Flyer was a whopping success. Not that I am going to be rich mind you, since the 24 copies sold didn’t cover even 1/6 of the printing cost–never mind the writing time. However, I’ve spent all week laughing over this and apparently so have you. So hey, isn’t that priceless?
I hope you will call the tip line  and keep us informed of the latest and greatest scuttlebutt and news around town.

For those of you online, the Fawnskin Flyer Online is updated daily and people are coming in to read from Florida, Illinois and Colorado…the nice thing about the online version is that you can also comment right then and there!

Remember, we won’t be malicious–but we will be interesting. This rag isn’t meant to be taken seriously but rather just to be fun and useful to all.

This issue is sponsored (anonymously) which means it is free to locals this week. The Fawnskin Market does sell them for .25 cents and is the exclusive distributor! Sponsor the printed issue for $25 or a hundred bucks for the month. It won’t be anything fancy, but it is cheap! Just give Guerrero Ink a call (800) 818-7387 if you are interested–or better yet write a check.!

Public restrooms are located in the triangle area of town. Look for the deer statues and you’ll find the facilities in the building nearby.

Necessary Numbers:
All are (909) area code unless listed otherwise.
Fire Station 49 866-4878
Arson Line (800) 468-4408
Forestry Officer 866-3437 x2810
Fish & Game Tips (888) 334-2258
Solar Observatory 866-5791
Discovery Center 866-3437
Camp Whittle 866-3000
Serrano Campground 866-8550
Fishing Licenses 866-9464
Fawnskin Market (Bait & Adventure Passes) 866-9543
Moose Lodge 2085 866-3013
Post Office 866-3245
Fawnskin Flyer Tipline:
Fawnskin Flyer Sponsorship: 1-800-818-7387

Lucy Runs Amuck!
Lucy has been running around town again. This was disconcerting to many visitors and new residents because Lucy is a pig—really a swine. REALLY! This pot-bellied pig managed to push her way out of her pen and ran up and down the business section of town, invaded the antique store’s property and attempted to escape capture. Doris (Fawnskin Market) is tenacious and determined and soon had her back in custody. This is yet another reason why we need to adhere to the 25mph speed limit through town! Lucy also discovered how to get out of a dog crate on July 6th. She was waiting at the door so she could be leashed up for a walk! Doris is threatening to change the sow’s name to Houdini. If you see this little delinquent around town you can attempt to lure her with carrots and apples–or better yet, just ring Doris. Lucy is leash trained but maybe needs to go to my piggy etiquette class. Hey! Is she going to appear in the Doo Dah Parade?

Mountain Peeves by Colleen Nuzzo
Since “Bad Behavior” is already a feature in the Fawnskin Flyer, I figured I’d use this space to air my ” Mountain Peeves.”

Number one on my list is bad mountain driving. I’ve fantasized about starting a petition to Cal Trans to build a dedicated lane for minivans. Not that all people who drive those things are bad drivers, although usually, when I am stuck in a long, slow-moving line going down the hill, the parade leader is in a minivan. Meanwhile, I am still trying to locate the law requiring that minivan owners’ must be deaf, oblivious to their surroundings, and unable to look in their rearview mirror.

On one occasion, I was extremely frustrated trying to get the attention of a minivan driver. Smoke billowed out from under the vehicle (could be why I use my gears, instead of brakes whenever possible). I was honking and valiantly trying to get around him, blinded by the constant glare of flashing red brake lights; afraid his car packed with kids was going to end up a pile of toasted rubble in a turnout. Did I say turnout? Now that I think about it, upon purchase of a minivan, the word “turnout” must be eliminated from the buyer’s consciousness.
The driver blasted off onto the freeway, probably gleeful that he didn’t allow that pushy woman in
the convertible to pass him, and how he’d fixed her.

Don’t miss the rest of this commentary with a moral! You can read the rest of it in the online version of the Fawnskin Flyer! (See Mountain Peeves)

Meet Your Neighbor
Fawnskin actually has a mayor and her name is Lori Gardiner. For those of you who don’t know, we buy our politicians–really. Everyone drops their quarters in the ballot boxes around town and the candidate who raises the most money wins! Gardiner’s reign will end in December. The last mayoral race raised a total of $5,000 and she raised close to $3,000. (All the funds go towards valley community service projects.)
Lori has been a Fawnskin resident for 15 years and moved here from Arcadia to escape the heat.
She is single and her tip for other singletons, “Don’t ever get involved with anyone who won’t watch ‘America’s Most Wanted.’ Sheesh, there MUST be a story there!

Lori is an eBay consultant and operates, Echoes of the Past. Did you know she is also a World Famous Teddy Bear maker? She spent over 20 years making her ‘Artist Bears.’ The notoriety spread through books published worldwide. Demand for her bears came from Germany, England, Canada and more!

Another tidbit you probably don’t know is that she plays the Ukulele. Her musical adventure began back in 1972 and she hopes to get a local club going. Do you play the Uke? Need eBay help? If so, call her!

Fire! FIRE!
This week’s Barton Fire is a gentle reminder that you should have a contingency plan for evacuation. Make a list of what you need and store important papers and supplies where you can grab them in the event you have to leave. Make sure your fuel tanks are full because in the event of loss of power or big influx of people (ie., Old Fire) you may not be able to get much.

Last year some people spouted bravado over how they were going to stay. Let me just share a couple things with you:

  • First, at least one veteran firefighter called his wife to say good-bye. Meaning he didn’t think he was going to live.
  • My brother, a Captain with the California Department of Forestry, told me to get out early because there were no resources left.
  • One local, who initially refused to leave, was asked for the name and contact information for his dentist. When he asked why, the fireman told him that the records probably would be the only way they could identify any remains.
  • Finally, remember that you just pose additional stress and complications for those fire fighters risking their lives to stay and fight. Leave when you are asked and don’t be stupid.

BTW: Visit the boys at Firestation 49 and take them some Thank You snacks!

Bad Behavior
Sometimes things just get a bit out-of-hand and malicious. Slander is a big no-no and one of the persistent rumors circulating around town is that someone is a pedophile. I have heard this off and on since I moved here and went online to check last year. So, before you go spreading that one any further look at the registered sex offenders site:

You’ll find that the Big Bear Valley has a few, but our town local is NOT one of them. Fawnskin does not have that claim to fame. So stop it.

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