First Fire and Chilly Mornings

Yesterday I finally built my first fire. The thermometer was below freezing and my home needed the chill taken off. Unfortunately, I forgot that I closed the flue for the summer but I was soon reminded when the smoke began to permeate the back room. Ugh.

I never have closed the flue before and what a mess it made. So, despite the cold morning, the windows and door were flung open. I really don’t like the campfire smell and it seemed to last forever. But regardless, I have been stoking up the fire to take off the chill both again last night and this am.

Today I bundled up to take my walk and found myself feeling the cold snap. I began my walk before it was light and found the need to pull my hood over my head. I did layer but it wasn’t enough. So much for my motivation to go kayaking—it is non-existent. Brrr.

This morning I had time to ponder the golden stillness of the lake. Even the Great Blue Heron had hunkered down due to the cold. I am still riding the wave of my grief process due to the loss of my friend and neighbor, Yvonne. I don’t like it one bit. Thanks to those of you who have been supportive. Steve is doing okay. I called this am and yesterday I went and grabbed a ton of movies to drop off so he has some mindless distraction.

I remember my big loss a few years back and what supported me the most was people just checking in, allowing me to just do what I needed to do and mostly just silently supporting me. Not everyone is good around grief. I learned about what helped me and so I try to help Steve.

I asked my sister for advice on the topic since she is a mortician. Four days a week she deals with loss non-stop. Her work path takes her into the world of the surviving families, friends, and the multitude of agencies involved in the death process. Her opinion is that the best thing anyone can do is to sit and hold someone’s hand, or put their hand on their back and check to see if they need anything. That makes sense to me.

She also said that most people talk too much and inevitably put their foot in their mouths. I’ve witnessed that a couple times this week and I experienced it when one friend dismally handled my grieving when it was at its worst earlier this week.

Steve still needs his space and I am glad his daughter is there with him. When I’ve visited he chats about his memories and the plans for the memorial service. What I do know is that this process will take a long time and that it really sucks. Please keep Steve and the rest of the family in your thoughts and prayers.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 14th, 2005 and is filed under Uncategorized.

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