The FAWNSKIN FLYER Volume 1 Issue 17 October 21, 2005

Volume 1 Issue 17
October 21, 2005
Not Necessarily News for Fawnskin, California
Priceless when posted! Otherwise .25¢

Inside This Issue
Gossip Girl: Rain Keep You In?
Fawnskin Numbers & Updates
Activity Center Meeting 11/15/05
Spa Days
Bad Behavior

GG’s Notes
I cannot believe that this week has actually been quiet. Never mind that I’ve been busy over on the “other side” of the lake. Even Doris was complaining that it has been too calm.

Part of the problem was due to the torrential rainfall and tremendous thunderstorm. Wow! I sure didn’t sleep the night the storm rolled in. The thunder reverberated across the valley and seemed to echo off the valley walls. The lightening strikes were spectacular and I am glad we had the downpour to alleviate any fire hazards.
Most everyone (those with good sense anyway) was hiding out from the storm. Me, I was out in it walking with my dog pal and then venturing out to run my friend’s business while she sensibly stayed home.

I scoped out the ballot boxes for the 2006 Fawnskin Mayor Race and they are not that heavy–so I am assuming that everyone is placing large bills in them instead of coins. Remember if you want to vote you can do so as many times as your want for as many candidates as you want! Cost per vote is $.25!

Don’t miss the regular updates at the Fawnskin Flyer online at
Or buy the Fawnskin Flyer for .25 cents at the Fawnskin Market or Moose Lodge 2085.

G.G. (Gossip Girl)

Public restrooms are located in the triangle area of town. Look for the deer statues and you’ll find the facilities in the building nearby.

Necessary Numbers:
All are (909) area code unless listed otherwise.
Fire Station 49 866-4878
Arson Line (800) 468-4408
Forestry Officer 866-3437 x2810
Fish & Game Tips (888) 334-2258
Solar Observatory 866-5791
Discovery Center 866-3437
Camp Whittle 866-3000
Serrano Campground 866-8550
Fishing Licenses 866-9464
Fawnskin Market (Bait & Adventure Passes) 866-9543
Moose Lodge 2085 866-3013
Post Office 866-3245

Fawnskin Flyer Tip Line:
Fawnskin Flyer Sponsorship: 1-800-818-7387

Activity Center for Kids?
One of the sad realities of this valley is the lack of activities for youngsters. We don’t have a pool, the skating rink is history, the “Kick It” program stopped after youngsters kept showing up drunk and we are down to one arcade, sports and nothing much after dark. Fortunately there are some art classes and other grassroots programs going on, but not much attracts the pre-teen and teen crowd.

Many youngsters don’t seem to know what to do with themselves. So, Moose Lodge 2085 wants to chat about the possibilities for forming a teen activity center.

Interested parties should join the Moose Lodge on November 15, 2005 in the upstairs meeting room. I believe the meeting is scheduled for 6:30pm but you can scope out the announcement flyer when you pop in there or give them a call at 866-3013 to get the real scoop.

The Fawnskin arson team has been alerted to investigate the strange fire outside the Fawnskin Post Office. Witnesses warned Postmaster Cynthia of smoke. When she ventured outside to investigate, she was directed (by an arriving postal customer) to the empty flower box adjacent to the building. A puff of smoke hovered over the dormant decorative container.

Being a veteran mountain resident, Postmaster Cynthia kicked it with her foot, causing the peat moss to smolder. Before the flames got out of control, the visiting customer (an astute Fawnskin resident) ran over to Fire Station 49. The fire crew was dispatched immediately to the scene (just across the street–don’t cha know?) where they grabbed the Post Office hose and quenched the fire hazard. An axe was also used to prevent the flames from burning the painted decor and the postal center.

Postmaster Cynthia said that there is little speculation about the incident. She said, “It might have been spontaneous combustion–like in the bogs of Ireland, but most likely it was caused by some careless smoker who tossed their butt into the container.”

So, watch your butts and use the proper receptacles. Anyone with any further information please alert our Postmaster!

Spa Days
Rumors started that the Moose is installing a spa behind the lodge. This is false.

The rumor mill began during the social night over dollar tacos. What happened was a few people were talking about the above ground pool sale at Walmart. Apparently there are areas in the United States where these pools are considered status symbols. This is certainly not true in Fawnskin, California.

Anyway, the conversation turned to how you can take advantage of Walmart during your travels because they allow you to hook_up your RV in their parking lots for free.

The discussion then turned to speculation about long term camping opportunities at Walmart, and eventually establishing residence in the parking lots of Walmarts across the nation. This is not something I would ever consider, but apparently I am out of the “in crowd” loop.

Anyway, eventually someone mentioned that it might be a good strategy to install one of the above ground pools and spa behind the Moose Lodge here in Fawnskin.

Unfortunately, the banter turned to the dark side as speculation began as to whose toenails would be the grossest, and the people most would not want to get into the spa with. This banter raised a lot of laughter and made me wonder why the Fawnskin locals frequently “go there” in their minds. This mindset certainly seems to be a unique quality for residents throughout town.

Here is my shameless plug: I reopened my animal training consulting services here in the valley to augment my writing and business services.

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve worked professionally with animals for over 30 years and ran a business here in the valley in the late 1980’s until the mid-1990’s. Referrals are appreciated. Ark Animals works with all species but no spouses…that will cost you extra!

Bad Behavior
Last week the issue was dedicated to the Fawnskin Mayoral Race and we didn’t have room for ALL the bad behavior spreading across our community! This town is suddenly the victim of a large crime wave! Will the locals put a stop to this bad behavior?

Bunch of Bull
Doris reports that a case of Red Bull disappeared from her store. She speculates that someone took advantage of her bathroom break to hoist the stuff. If you have any info on this theft let her know.

Local Pressure Building
Locals have been complaining about excessive traffic in town coinciding with the arrival of some new residents. At least one unsupervised dog associated with the group is running amuck near the highway and elsewhere. Hey! Clean up your act before the Fawnskin vigilantes take action.

Reckless Wreck
Many locals heard about the big pile up off of Stanfield. It seems that a new arrival to our town was driving intoxicated and thus the accident and free trip to jail from the scene. Another new resident was injured in the accident and was later transported down the hill for treatment.

Truckin’ & Boatin’ Fiend
The marina dredging project is also near Stanfield. This group reported two thefts from the yard. First, their boat (used to go back and forth to the barge) was stolen. Then one of the new four-by-four trucks was nicked.

With all this action, maybe we need to invite the CHP and Sheriffs over for coffee and snacks more often!

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