Big Bear Dating?

Nick left a comment the other day lamenting over the lack of a dating pool around these parts. He didn’t seem to know about the Mountain Folks Dating Criteria or the follow-up post where the mountain folk dating criteria was revisited.

Now if he had those vital resources *smirk* I doubt he would have posted the comment. But this is an ongoing problem for many people so I thought I would answer him here instead of in the comment section.

When I first moved to these parts in the 1980s, I immediately met someone at a business function and we soon began dating. Once that relationship ended, although I had lots of offers, I really wasn’t too interested in the dating scene…which pissed off a lot of the guys I knew.

At the time, I was in a different age bracket and the ratio of single men to single females was probably something like 10 to 1. As a skier and outdoor activity enthusiast–I always met new people.

During those years there were several places to go dancing and I met a lot of people that way too, but the most interesting people came through the common of interest in animals.

Alas, most did not flag my interest (nor did all meet my dating criteria).

Eventually, I left the mountain to pursue a career more in alignment with my degree. Funny, the dating pool was larger but still sucked. However, as usual, at least I had a lot of other pursuits.

Fast forward a few years…

Upon my return to the mountains I ran a community service project in alignment with a second career (after an accident) and I met a lot of people through it but nobody suitable for dating.

In fact, the Mountain Folk Dating Criteria actually was written in response to the lamenting from one of my male pals who had tried the personals. He was always out on the prowl bringing back lots of stories and adventures that tickled my funny bone.

It was bizarre to find people listed in the personals that were actually involved with someone already and still looking. Don’t they know it is too small of a town to do that? He found that to be the last straw and eventually left the mountain in disgust.

Even over at Rim of the World the lack of interest in the singles community is apparent. The mountain did have a great social group that formed called Mountain Social Links. Alas, it didn’t get enough support and was disbanded. The founders actually got people together to support member events and arranged member outings–and I really met some lovely people through it.

Now I haven’t checked the demographics of the area lately, but it has always been predominantly senior citizens and families–with singles often landing here temporarily. The average turn over for homes is about two years (according to one Realtor I spoke with) which can be taken as an indication of a lot of things.

My current partner (known to all as my “handsome man”) moved up here and it was a pal who tried to get us together shortly after his arrival. Her urgings were something like, “Save him from the Big Bear dating pool…” and “Just be his friend and show him around town.”

Well, as much as I resisted and resented her efforts (I really hate when people try and set you up without really thinking about if the person is appropriate), things evolved. Two years later, I think it is a pretty good match–perhaps she should be a matchmaker and help all the other single people out.

So, what can you do to meet someone? Be yourself and quit looking is my opinion.

I’d define your interests and then go out and get involved in some of the groups related to those interests. There you will make a lot of friends, have a good time, and perhaps you will meet someone. IMHO just focusing on finding someone might make you miserable. Besides, even if you don’t hook up with someone you’ll have a full, vital life.

Now some singles hit the bar scene around these parts–but meeting someone when alcohol is involved doesn’t sound too good to me.

On the weekends the older crowd tends to head over to the Best Western for music and dancing while the young to middle age group hits up Mandoline Bistro on Wednesdays and Chad’s Place on the weekends.

Outdoorsy types hit the ski resorts for winter sports and entertainment. Those spots are very social. If you are active, try the hiking group
or other clubs. The area also has a computer club, and local chapters of groups such as the Sierra Club.

If you have religious or spiritual interests, the area sustains a large number of establishments in relation to the population…just check out the list in the phone book, the last time I looked there were over 20.

For senior citizens, the Big Bear Senior Center is a hotbed of activity. For men, I think the ratio is 50 to 1. (Actually, I don’t really know but I imagine it is pretty skewed.) I used to enjoy listening to the single older women I knew talking about the amorous adventures of some of the guys working the dating pool there. Anyway, if you want pals and fit into this age bracket–it is a good place to make friends.

Finally, the park district offers a variety of classes and you can meet some interesting people in those as well–one of my pals met her current man through the athletics program there.

Anyway, just a few ideas and my two cents worth.

Anyone else out there looking? If you are, or if you have tips for Nick, leave a comment below.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, March 6th, 2008 and is filed under Mountain Lake Resort, Small Town Living.

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